[ic] thread continuations

[supersensitive]

Comments

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[laughs lightly, holding him close]

Mm, but it's true, so...

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[hoarsely, after a long few moments curled against him, managing to relax]

. . . R-Ruka, do you want—me to—

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[shakes his head]

Only what you want to do, Shinji. I could wait or take care of it myself... I just-- want you to feel good.

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[. . . nips Ruka's neck]

[I asked what you wanted.]

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[shivers ///]

I-I'd... be happy with anything-- I want you to do what would feel good or be exciting for you.

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[bites again, a little more firmly, almost chiding]

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[inhales sharply, closing his eyes]

L-look, you could just keep doing that and I'd be happy. Touch me, use your mouth, whatever, please...

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[mouth against Ruka's neck]

. . . I want everything. But—Ruka . . . wants it too. So it's not . . . weird. I just don't want to stop . . .

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

...I do. I want it, with you... I-it's not weird.

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[. . . slides his hands over Ruka's chest, sitting up a little and gazing down at him, smoothing his hands down over Ruka's stomach and shifting so he can sit between Ruka's legs, shivering]

It's—hard to understand what other people want . . . I've never been wanted like that? And I wanted—so much. I still do . . . But it's fine? It's normal? You want me . . .

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[shivers a little reflexively at the feeling of Shinji's hands, but pretty distracted by the conversation, half sitting up so he can rest a hand on Shinji's arm...?]

...Of course I want you. What's wrong, Shinji...?

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

I-I've been trying not to—feel this way!? [Like it was something I should be ashamed of.]

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

...Ah... No. I mean-- our situation was complicated, but-- being attracted to people, in general... Wanting to have sex and-- be loved and touched and touch others... That's normal?

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[half-covering his face with one hand, flushed]

Please—you keep . . . telling me to just do what I want, but I don't—I can't.

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[sits up fully, reaching to take Shinji's hands]

...Shinji-- even if you say... "I want everything"-- if you're... so ashamed of it that you can't do it without being asked, I don't-- I'm not going to... tell you to. Whatever you want, it's okay. It's not wrong. You don't have to feel bad for wanting it. Asking if it's okay to do-- obviously, that's fine, and polite, but... you shouldn't feel ashamed of even just thinking about it.

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[gripping Ruka's hands tightly, leaning in to press his face against Ruka's shoulder]

I'm sorry. I'm fucked up. I want . . . [I want to be reassured that you want me.]

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

...I do. Everything's been... because I love you, because I want you... I wanted to see and hear you feel good. Not just your body, but emotionally, too...? I want... all of this to feel good for you. It's not wrong for you to feel that way.

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

It feels so exposed.

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[...raises one of Shinji's hands to his mouth, kissing it gently]

...Sorry. Should we have waited?

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

[immediately]

No!

[curling his fingers, stroking Ruka's cheek]

No . . .

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[leans into that a bit]

...Then, if you're sure-- as... long as you want to let me see it, there's not... a part of you I wouldn't want to see. I've loved every other part of you, you know...? I even saw your heart. So... worrying what I'll think about the parts of you that want this, the ones that feel exposed... Obviously I'll love them as well?

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

Ruka. Ruka . . . Ruka . . .

[running his free hand through Ruka's hair, a little desperately]

Yes—that's . . . you love me . . . you know me and you love me . . .

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[simply, closing his eyes]

I love you.

Re: Day 400, evening

[oedipuswreck]

You wanted me enough to—to go through a lot of trouble—

Re: Day 400, evening

[supersensitive]

[...nods]

And... I'm glad... e-even if things still hurt, I'm really glad... you helped me do that.