[ic] thread continuations

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Comments

[supersensitive]

Yeah.

[leans to kiss his forehead...]

[oedipuswreck]

. . .

Ruka, I want—I want things to be okay . . .

[supersensitive]

Okay...?

[curling close!]

[oedipuswreck]

I want to be—hopeful. That . . . the future is worth something. That it's . . . my future.

[supersensitive]

...I want that for you too.

[oedipuswreck]

But bad things always happen . . .

[supersensitive]

...So it's still scary, huh.

[oedipuswreck]

It's scary to hope. Like . . . to think that I know what I'm doing, or that I deserve what I have, or . . .

[Like, it feels like it would be the worst thing, to feel like things were going okay, that I was okay, that it was okay to be me, and then have all of that be proven wrong. Like, who were you fooling, Shinji?]

[supersensitive]

...It's okay to be you, Shinji. But... it's also-- okay... or understandable, maybe... to be scared... I still get scared too.

[oedipuswreck]

Of what . . .?

[supersensitive]

Ah... Someday everyone will realize what a fuck-up I am and leave me? That... kind of thing...

[oedipuswreck]

That's . . . not gonna happen.

[supersensitive]

Well, hopefully not. But... that kind of thing. I don't really... feel like I deserve what I have either, so it makes it hard to accept, but... it's not something I want to give up, either? So I'll accept it anyway.

[oedipuswreck]

[exhales slowly, winding his arms around him]

. . . it's not like I—want to be happy to hear that, but—

[It's nice. We understand each other.]

[supersensitive]

[holds him close ♥]

Yeah. It'll-- be nice-- when we can both... not be afraid, but-- in the meantime, having someone who understands is good, too...

[oedipuswreck]

I—I love you—I love you! I love you . . .!

[supersensitive]

I-I love you...

[flushing, squeezing him]

[oedipuswreck]

[laughs]

You're so great!

[supersensitive]

What's that, suddenly...

[oedipuswreck]

You've done so much for me.

[supersensitive]

I-- want you to be happy...

[oedipuswreck]

You've shown me that.

[supersensitive]

...I love you.

[brushes his fingers over Shinji's cheek...]

[oedipuswreck]

I know.

[supersensitive]

[catches at the edge of his smile with his thumb, gazing]

You look happy.