[Shinji's been on edge for too long, achingly close to coming and only keeping himself going out of sheer bloody determination—and that's too much, he's close, this is amazing, he—]

[he gets to decide if he wants Ruka to swallow, Ruka would let him decide, and that's—]

[he manages a sound that's almost a sob, thoughts at least a frantic warning—coming, Ruka—before he just . . . yanks Ruka down and holds him there, fingers shaking as he starts to come]